Whole Grain Lose Brain

Cornflakes and yoghurt with Einstein. 

Champagne instead of real pain. 

Valuable intellectual gain. Whimsical, giant crush on a spring. 

At the same time insane.

Whole grain bread and vein. Vein filled with rain.

Friend on a plane. Tomorrow. I already feel left alone. 

My lose brain that I draw on the paper. That I draw on intentionmodelofopportunityperception. Like a ball of yarn, like a small target. Listening the same song for a millionth time. I could listen even more. The reason why is not that a song is beautiful. Listening one melody keeps your thoughts flowing the same rhythm the same direction. Listening keeps you thinking. Just few more lines to write. I'll be alright. I was laughing today in the morning. I wish to laugh with that slightly blushed face everyday. Listening one melody makes you dream more. Listening to the same heart beat makes you insane. In the room, where sound is isolated 99,99%, person can survive up to 45 minutes. Then one gets insane of the same rhythm. Same ticking blood and muscle bomb. Same pace. Same space. 

Traveling in a circle. A big need to draw a circle. Over the brain. Over the intentionmodelofopportunityperception.

 Over you. 

And make it magic, that nobody, who wants to harm you, would ever step there.

Never.

Whole grain bread and something dead. Sandwich with a ham. 

Sound of the day. To keep the same pace in different space.

There there

Sun is up until 9 p.m. 

Already up at 7a.m. 

It is always fine to wake up and put a smile on first. The habit to tell everyone when happiness strikes is getting one in a trouble. Nobody wants to listen about other people happiness.

Wondering if people spend the same amount of time thinking of me as I spend thinking about them. Well, not everything is even. And that is O.K. by me.

There been loads of unfair things. Actually, all of them are fair, just they mismatch the measurement scale in our heads. That's why thoughts always mess up with reality. Reality never mess up with thoughts. Just thoughts with reality. It is like watching crimes on TV. After that you start thinking that your neighbor is a serial killer. But worse case scenario he is just some loner smoking pot in his bathroom, hiding from beloved, crazy wife. That's all. I like thinking about people. My reality is always messed up. My reality is always pimped up.

It's unhealthy. Or the other way.

Challenges

Challenging myself to learn to cook Indian food. 

Came back to the old saying "No challenge - no progress" and thought that I always preferred my comfort zone with no challenges, no risk or just low risk. Wasn't worth it. Nothing extremely special happened. Just those moments where I said YES to the small challenges, just then I actually felt something. 

Then I found things, then I took a chance. Of course to learn cook foreign cuisine is nothing special, but there are more challenges that I've never accepted. Nude picture with a helmet. Will be done. Moving out of Herning. This has to be done as soon as possible. Finding a job that I would like. Graduating with a good grade.What else? Ukulele! Well, this might be kinda hard, because I already gave up on it. Get out of a continent.

Keep the quality raising not stagnating. Keep the challenges coming.  

wait for fate

This time I couldn't wait for a blog day and actually wrote down all the following thoughts already on Tuesday. Paradox, but it is about waiting.

 Anticipation and type of arousing feeling were tickling me from inside and I just couldn't resist thinking, scribbling or doodling. Imagination does not work the way you want when you are imprisoned by waiting. It gives you all wrong thoughts, and even when it gives you right thoughts it is not actually a good time or right place.

Two calenders hanging on my wall above the bed hadn't been touched for two or more weeks. I'm not able to cross out any more days. If there is antonym for waiting I am doing that. I know that not a lot of days left until my hard work or "hard work" has to be presented and I am avoiding that talk as much as I can. Fully developed ignorance is keeping me alive. On the development way concentration is slightly kicking my ass to cross out things from to-do list. Yellow post-its hanging in all the rooms resembles bread crumbs like in John and Gretel fairy-tale. Just this time I am lost in academic forest. And it is darker than Schwartzwald woods.

Waiting is nothing pleasuring here. Other hand, I still have the arousing feeling in my guts. Waiting is like long way out of hedge maze. You are totally annoyed that you have to go somewhere with no idea how long you going to have to wander but at the same point your imagination creates cardinally different images of what is waiting for you in the end. And usually the exit of a maze appears to be so close, but so far. And when you reach it it is totally unexpected or not- you can see that you are getting closer and your pupils are spreading and getting bigger because or sun ray, your hands are opening and you are trying to reach that freedom, which is in the other side of the hedges. Then when you get outside you inhale as much as you can, that your head is spinning because of fresh air. And waiting is over. Relieved.

In other situation when waiting ends up to be the best part, when you imagined way too good exit to the freedom, or it appears that freedom is just a start of new problems, it is better go back to maze? No, not really. The new world that you just got into will provide you new waiting objects. And maybe one day it will be worth waiting.

The essence is not in waiting but in the way you go while waiting.

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” J.Campbell

Oh, you must have been waiting for the end of this blog too. It's coming... So, guys and gals, keep on waiting, keep on moving to your direction. I believe that all of you in the end going to get what you want. And if you don't it's not the end yet. 

With lost in maze love,
still-waiting-Ugne

Flora. Lukasz Wierzbowski

There is some buzz in my head. Waking up with a smile happens from time to time. I think I might be happy after all, if I just brace myself. Count out loud. Little bit of vegetation, now some time for photosynthesis. Count out loud.

LUKASZ WIERZBOWSKI photography below

Notes to myself: Sunday

It's going to be one long evening with Erykah and some coffee. Maybe my dear will teach me some responsibility and planning. Days come and go. On and on. And so far not a lot left out of those days. Today I've started painting. The God of Procrastination. Also started Einstein's biography and some letters. On and on. The first step is to relax. The second is to start. The third - plan before falling asleep. The forth - dream good things. The fifth - get up, when open your eyes, no more snoozing. That's all. On and on. Practice to remember all good advices. Practice to love with no reason. Practice to think bright. Practice to go straight forward. On and on. 

Over the time I'll learn. Wait and meet. Try and succeed.

B!urocracy

Oh dear Lord, when did it happen? When did I grow up? 

Still have that teen disappointment though.. 

Stupid taxes, stupid schedules, stupid forms, stupid questionnaires.

 When I'm gonna have money I will buy a hula hoop. And only paper work I'll do will be cut outs, scrap books and origami.

I also have to play. 

Un/Im portance

I've spend 10 minutes setting the right light on a computer that I could write. Then got two cups of coffee. Then adjusted my sitting angle. Then revised my thoughts. Then turned off all the social media distractions. Then turned them on again. Then got stressed and then managed my stress playing NFS. Then got some water. Then opened document and wrote one sentence. Then deleted it.

All the necessary preparation didn't prepared me to be productive. It prepared me to procrastinate. And the workflow went like this "You have to do this now!----> NO".
How important is the atmosphere? How important is to get the right setting of pencils?

Usually we overrate details. We imagine that small principles and details are the base of our lives and if it goes wrong or fall apart we blame on those small things. Overrate their importance. Overrate everything. Usually I am a pro at overrating, over-thinking and all other things that does not fit in a frame. It has to go over, above and fall out. The importance is the main thing which stifles. Nothing is important if it makes you feel bad. And the importance management should be the first course in the anger management classes. Well, maybe it is. I've never signed up for one. I was too angry.

Once again I am asking you a silly question. Have you ever thought that things that you trust on and believe in is important? Have you ever thought that they are not that important as you think?

I bet you didn't. Human mind is constructed in the way that a person is always sure that he/she's right. And smart person knows that he/she doesn't know nothing at all. Line from some kind of a song but a complete truth. Yes, we fight every single day to be the right one. Yes, we want to convince people that our perception of the world is the correct one. And most important. Ever.

It is not. Or maybe it is, I still didn't decided. I don't know. Only one thing I know is that we should relax and take a second look at things that are happening judging their importance.

Is it important or is it unimportant? Imagine yourself in the deserted island where you don't have your precious things. Where the nature is right and you are wrong. Where local tribe members are right and you are not. Where you don't have an opinion because nobody cares. Would you survive?

Be survivors, try to survive without unnecessary shit.

With a big box of necessary kisses,
Ugne

Antti Laitinen

Systematic Tuesday

Structuring, combining, applying, limiting, organizing, systematizing, clearing out, pushing and pulling. Putting into Procrustes bed. C'est fini. Life is fine with a plan. Plan is fine when it doesn't cut your life. 

Automatically controlling. I learn so much. I crave so much. I believe in so much. I want to do so much. Casual headache is pinching me and Miss Discipline is holding my hand and taking me to a better place. Sounds like a death note but it is not.

Mood: sterile black.

Oh Monday

Slightly tripping on coffee and insomnia, and driven by the mofo procrastination my day flows totally useless, totally pathetic. Eyes look pretty happy, brain-pain still doesn't want to leave my poor skull. Anyway, anyhow, setting the limits in my life was never an easy task. Delimitation writing is even harder. Now when I know that I have to do that and I don't have any other choice I still postpone every single minute just to expand that limit. Looks like always I try to drain every single drop of time that I could waste doing nothing. Looks like I still include "I" in every single sentence. Looks like. Looks like nap time would be a saver of a day. Looks like that I have a meeting in 30 and I am not prepared. Filled with randomness. Filled with procrastination. Filled with coffee. Filled with confusion and disappointment. Nah not really, just procrastination. I'm happy in overall.

 

and the song to make stress be even harder and it might push me to start working

Sparrow Guitars

Insomnia hit me unexpectedly. Well, at least now I have time to read and stumble upon some interesting stuff. 

Sparrow guitars campaign "Stop playing games. Start playing guitar" by Rethink Canada

2009

via fubiz.net

Wake Up

Waking up in a day time. And waking up from laziness and hibernation. Waking up and ready to create stories.

a story for tomorrow. from gnarly bay productions, Inc. on Vimeo.

Tension

Gonna shake that major tension and disappointment out! 

Bunch of crap just have to be solved, sorted out and applied to work for a long term. Lists of strategies, models, methods, solutions, frameworks. Emails, calenders, events. Problems, tasks, cases, exams. One after another. Tuesday became Monday. I've never hated Mondays but apparently if it's on Tuesday it is really bad. 

Holidays are over

Holidays are over and concentrated concentration collection has to take ahead. 5 songs for a good day when the laundry has to be done and when the carpets have to be vacuumed. 5 songs and 1 thought. well maybe few more. Life has been pretty unpredictable lately. I could say two weeks of empty-headed living, some peaks and some bottoms. With all the possible ambiguity that could ever happen. Childish actions. And at some point really childish consequences. And after that just a "fish day", which means that I'll be quiet. for today

Oriol Angrill Jorda

Blendscapes by Oriol Angrill Jorda

 More

via visualnews.com

Domesticated dreamer

Confused and quite bruised. Infused with waiting. Diffused with thick air and contrasting thoughts. Misused and accused. Still amused.

I've been staring at a piece of paper for a bit. And then a little bit more. Then more. I would say very nice hand writing. Reasonable. 

Simply Nothing

“ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ”
- Chuck Palahniuk

standing in a gentle rain and waiting for something to drop on. Not the rain. Shoulders were shaking but standing still. Nothing much to do when you don't have your head. Nothing much to do when your shoulders does not have anything important to hold. Nothing. Nor let free nor on the leash. That's how bumblebee from Berlin calls this state. Simply nothing state. Simply 8 episodes of tv series watched. Simply nothing. 

Loads of crap. Non of it important. 

About the dancing pies

"Your freshly baked pie will cool down faster if you let it do a little dance"

Marc Johns

Freshly baked apple pie asked me if it can dance for a bit just to cool off. You know what I mean. Walk it out. Strange form of self disappointment expresses itself through my baking habits.
Today one book about the popular band in 70s has to be killed. 100 pages left. 99 pages left. 98 pages left.

While my pie is dancing and the girl in my computer is singing "I am tired and I'm blue" I am killing the book and dreaming about running down the hill. Jumping over the mole built bumps and rolling down the yellow grass all covered in smell of summer evening. Collecting my hats, glasses, best wishes, good memories, smile and other accessories, putting them into my pockets, on my head. Putting the crown of joy and elegantly flowing over the fields to the forest where my pie is still dancing and smiling. And all those pretty dreams came true. Or not. Or started dreaming by themselves. Dreams have to dream too, otherwise, nothing would be true. No. I don't talk to my pie. I talk to myself and actually... nah, doesn't matter. 97 pages left

The dance of a pie is truly filling me with a sensual feeling. The tasty smell.

bye

take care

Lady dignity

Some kid driven by his own rage and selfish youngster ideas tried to shout in street during the parade:

"We don't have any money.

We don't have any time.

We don't have any energy.

And we are angry because of that.

And if by any chance we would get the possibility to get any of those... Screw it! Our dignity is our treasure."

So far as I know he is still doing that in the streets. Well, same poor guy just 30 years older and he doesn't seem to have much of a dignity anymore:

"We don't have any money.

We don't have any time.

We don't have any energy.

And we are angry because of that.

And if by any chance we would get the possibility to get any of those... Screw it!  Better give me beer..."

So I've raised myself a question once again. Honestly, I am getting tired of questioning, because most of the time I forgot what I'd asked before I get an answer. But that must have been the way it has to go. So the question was "How much of a dignity is being actually realized?".

We all have some amount of a dignity and we always, I tell you, ALWAYS will believe and will stand up saying that WE STILL HAVE OUR DIGNITY. It's just a nice words. In a while it goes that laziness covered the dignity for a while so I didn't clean apartment, or one Friday my mates got so drunk that did so many stupid things that Mrs. Dignity would kill herself straight away. If she is still alive.

Ask me or them, or any other person if he/she still has their dignity. Answer without any doubt will be "Yes, of course!" But really... Do we use our dignity properly, or just when the principles hit our simplified thinking? Or what about the dignity that drives us to rage, but never drives us to do something that we wouldn't have to rage? Or...

I think everybody raises different questions to themselves. And Mrs. Dignity is blushing every time you forget any of those. Take a good care of your dignity. Don't rage against yourself. So climbing down the bar and collecting clothes and spilled drinks I thought "Yeah, I think I owe my dignity an apology." Even though we are always planning to keep our dignity clean, most of the time we mistreat her. Sorry.

But now it's Thursday and holidays are flying fast. That just reminds me a card that I've saw couple of weeks ago "I can't wait to be ashamed of what I'll do this weekend".

Be aware and remember, please remember, please while using wine use a little dignity too.

Best wishes and kisses,

blushing-strawberry-Ugne

S/S/S : systematically solving struggles

 If I could figure out. I would work it out.

I think, I'm on my way easily moving to different directions but keeping the moving idea on. 

The try not to stop and seek for the right solution is running in my blood lately. 

The weather is perfect, conditions are perfect, nothing good on TV, I don't even own one. The water is cold, keeps me awake, the company is serious, they spent more hours on studying than I did so I count them as a good influence. What else...

Conditions are perfect, beyond any doubt.

The most important thing on to-do list is DON'T STOP.

And on leisure time, remember "If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing".

People Say #4 : colourful crosswords

"Get out of the fuckin' bed" G.roommate

And I had no other choice. Crosswords for breakfast, books for lunch. Jacuzzi boys for energy.

How much time does it take to make holidays end. Article about caffeine that makes mice be lazy. I am lazy mouse.

Vertical: What is the name of Polish Air lines? Horizontal: The name of South America's mammal. 

Words had crossed in my head making some kind of a net and saving my laziness.

I should put myself together and go study instead. yup

Gentry

The artist which is searching not for something new but for something that wasn't used for a while. The genius plan to use floppy disks to create an art is flaming in the Nick Gentry, UK artist which does amazing portraits on the already forgotten memories.

Star Treck and old flash games you used to play on parents pc stored in there and being converted into incredible shades of human faces. Simple the best, I would say.

THE Explanation

Dramatic scenes caused by the human beings involved in the complicated actions of emotional euphoria raise during the period of fifth and sixth day of a week has to be explained in a greater detail to be not mistaken as a casual occurrence or a natural feature of a person.  To ensure the acquaintances and audience involved in the period of time of fifth and sixth day, that actions held during particular period was influenced by the stupidity and alcoholic beverages the explanation of a situation will be provided.

Extreme amount of drama that is collected and hosted in a storage room sometimes gives itself a right to appear in not exact appropriate moment and usually cause a slight change of consequences. Erotic dance moves on a steal surface of a student beer and saliva covered bar awoken by the primitive beat of a popular music might be perceived as an immature action or archaic seducing process. In these terms, alcohol, which is considered to be a fuel for the large quantity of stupidity and off-the-limit activities, could be stated as a reason for unsystematic. Stupidity has it's impact on a storage place where the hazard of drama is soiled. To keep the drama explosion neutralized new weapon of the ignorance was involved in a process. Unfortunately, this penetration of an ignorance was unsuccessful in a matter where unplanned mating actions took the lead.

Small injuries were healed by the blood of Christ and was mentioned in further days as well recognized as a symbol of approach of a foolishness during the fifth day of a week. The emotional load of love was inserted into skull via the hypnosis session held while person was unconscious due to the alcohol abuse. Repercussion of a session left an effect on a tested person and this particular person was considered to be delightful. For the record, person is still thankful for the supporters' installations of positive emotional input which is accompanied by the not defined feeling of a shame and a need to apologize spectators and participants of the drama controlling and stupidity release actions.

"Blame it on my libido" F.U.